When I found out I was expecting I was adamant before I even dived into the parenting books that there were certain habits that I wouldn’t pick up… nearly 3 years later I think it is safe to say we are actually doing them all! Damn this parenting is harder than books make out!
5. Meltdowns in public places.
I remember growing up, the amounts of meltdown’s my younger brother had when he couldn’t have the latest Airfix kit or Kinder egg. He’d scream and burst into tears whilst falling in a heap to the floor this carried on until one of our parents gave in and let him have whatever the latest meltdown was about, he picked up on that and began to use his meltdowns to his advantage… From that moment I knew that if I was to ever have a child of my own I WOULD NOT GIVE IN. Fast forward to my now 2 year old daughter and I can honestly say with shame that I have lost count the amount of times I have given in to whatever it is she was after. It’s the feeling of people judging not only your child but you as a parent for the lack of ability to control your child, if there is a way to keep said child quiet and out of the minds of judgmental people then boy am I going to take it! Luckily, Ryan is stronger willed than I am and on days when he’s home she will rarely get what she wants and he will put her straight.
4. A dummy
Before Shaniah came along and after endless amounts of parenting/baby books I considered myself Einstein of the parenting category. I knew what I was and wasn’t going to do. And one thing that I certainly wasn’t going to rely on and that I told everyone in my family was the dummy! I had read how bad dummies could be for children in the long run and I being a first time parent was determined to do everything right for my child. Fast forward to newborn Shaniah and the endless crying and how she just wouldn’t settle I resorted in using the dreaded dummy. Now we’ve only just managed to part them both at the grand age of 2! Did it affect her? Not at all.
3. Unhealthy food.
Now I am sure I am not alone when I say that before having kids I had imagined myself feeding my child nothing but healthy foods, I believed that they would love their vegetables and fruit and that chocolate and crisps would only be a treat. I envisioned family dinners of homemade food – no processed stuff in sight. Again 3 years later, my child will eat nothing except chicken nuggets and chips or sausages and she knows when every McDonald’s is coming up when we take a trip in the car. Just the other month at a family members christening we went to get some food from the buffet and she returned with a plate full of cocktail sausages and pom-bears and proceeded to finish the lot. Not really the healthy start I had in mind…
2. Electronic gadgets.
Like many parents before me. I didn’t want Shaniah to rely on electronics. I wanted her to have a childhood like I did where I enjoyed playing outside and imagining going places in a cardboard box! Fast forward to 2 year old Shaniah and although I didn’t encourage her to the iPad she has discovered it on her own, even down to the point where she gets on to YouTube and somehow finds hours of entertainment watching other children open up surprise eggs or singing johnny johnny numerous amounts of times! Even though I’ve gone against my original thoughts on this we do have a great relationship with the great outdoors and we will happily spend time together which doesn’t require any kind of “gadgets”.
1. Lose pride in my appearance.
Before the days of children I wouldn’t be seen anywhere without a full face of make up and an outfit to wow! One thing I vowed to never stop was this. Looking back at it I can practically hear the future me laughing at the thought of me being able to do such a thing. Don’t get me wrong there are days where I make an effort but the majority of the time after fighting with LO to put on her trousers or find her shoes, a simple mum bun and leggings seem more suffice. besides there is always a Snapchat filter ready to zap that Mombie out of you!
So there you have it I don’t think I have achieved many of the things I set out to do throughout parenting but there is one thing that I succeeded at and that is bringing up a girl who has manors and is down to earth and I couldn’t be prouder. The things I ended up doing? They haven’t done anything bad to her and so what if we give in – we are only human!
To fellow parents out there who are also doing the complete opposite to what they imagined – you’re doing a fantastic job! P.s. Mum buns are cool – really!